Review: PIRANHA 3DD (2012) | Casey's Movie Mania | Movie Reviews, Features & Others

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Review: PIRANHA 3DD (2012)


For the record, Alexandre Aja's extremely gory remake of PIRANHA (2010) wasn't as good as one might suggested. But at least that remake have its fair share of guilty-pleasure entertainment, and you've gotta admit that Aja knows well a lot about how to make a gory movie. Now here comes PIRANHA 3DD (no, that "3DD" is not a typo error), a follow-up that I bet a lot of those who've watched the remake, are naturally expecting something "bigger" or "more outrageous". Heck, even this sequel has been heavily promoted with the self-proclaimed tagline of "Double the action. Double the terror. Double the D's". However, PIRANHA 3DD fails to live up its "double the (insert the pun)" promise and instead delivers more of the same without the technical expertise that Aja has fashioned rather well in his remake. This time, there's no Aja in sight here as the sequel is replaced by FEAST director John Gulager. And Gulager is no Aja. What you get here instead is a cheap and uninspired follow-up that makes Aja's PIRANHA looks like a genre classic.

What about the plot, you say? Nothing much, but here goes anyway: Danielle Panabaker is Maddy, a marine biologist (seriously?) returns home to Arizona where her sleazy stepfather Chet (David Koechner) is about to open an adult-themed water park called "Big Wet", complete with stripper lifeguards. But little he knows that the park is actually located just upstream from Lake Victoria, the very site where the piranhas first terrorized a lot of victims in the remake. So naturally, those piranhas are back and they are looking to migrate to other area for another flesh-eating buffet.

Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton's screenplay is vague at best, and Gulager's direction is all pedestrian, yet strictly formulaic to the core. Frankly, any sense of creativity is hardly matters here unless you count the scene where a man stands in a pool with his pants down while having some sexual pleasure from the pumps spraying water over his genitals or another one involving a lovemaking session-goes-awry (yup, a piranha has somewhat bursting out of a girl's vagina and bites at a man's dick).

Earlier in the scenes, Gulager does pull off some worthwhile suspense during the course of the movie, especially in the scene involving Maddy and her friend, Shelby (Katrina Bowden) trying to run from the sudden attack of piranhas at the wooden pier. Too bad the supposedly all-hell-breaks-loose climactic finale at the crowded water park is a huge disappointment. Despite all the gore, the movie is haphazardly shot with lack of exciting flair.

PIRANHA 3DD is a bad movie, but for all the glaring weaknesses here and there, it remains a fairly passable guilty-pleasure entertainment with enough gore and nudity. Cameo appearances like David Hasselhoff, appearing as a celebrity lifeguard posing as the famous character he once played in TV's Baywatch while Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames (who both appeared in the remake), are at least have their worthwhile moments. Plus, at a mere 70 minutes or so, the movie brisks through with enough distraction to justify its short running time.

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